Yesterday, dearest mentioned that he felt that i have changed alot in the one year plus that we have been together. He said that i used to call and 'niao' him whenever he delayed in calling me. Whether he was just taking a short breather after work or for whatever reasons, i would call and scold him impatiently for the delay. Thankfully i have changed.

Though i cannot remember all these that had happened but i have no doubts about it. That was the type of person that i was and i remembered vividly that whenever i scolded him, i would say that i did it because he is important to me. it was exactly how i felt back then, because i care thats why i will say something. Looking back, i dont really understand how my boyfriend is able to tolerate all these and still stuck with me through all these times.

many things had happened and i finally thought it through. there are things that i let go and never wanna take them back. Ive made my decision and true enough, im alot happier. ive threw everyone who did not cherish the chances away and use the energy to love everyone else who loves me. im not angry, i cannot even be bothered to.

indeed, the new gained perspective has made me cherish and love others more. =)

i need to work harder, i fought for the chances.

thanks to all.

loves!

Lia finally called me on the night after i blogged about her NOT calling me. Im elated to hear her voice and know that shes doing great inside. =) LOVE LOVE LOVE!

Both of us even came out with a prank to be played on Huizhen. thank god she didnt fall for it, if not our dearest lia will be crying on her bed.

hahaha.

loves!

im experiencing problems with blogger, anyone else have problems too?

Life is in a mess.

It appears that im sinking into a deep pool of misery and at the same time im pulling you in. Im sorry. theres nothing much i can do for myself, my life is being controlled and im the joke over here. i hate it and i cannot do anything.

its only the 14th day of the month and i spent ALL my allowance. Now living on credit and hopefully things will get better........ I need $$$!!

blah blah blah blah..

anyway lia has went into tekong there was NO CALLS, NO MESSAGE from her since yesterday. She promised and THERES NOTHING! kns.................................person.

tired.
time for maths

the level of stress is building up once again.

it feels like i have so little time, what can i do?

work, work work!

Its scary how greed is able to consume one's moral values. Worse when the greed morphed into ignorance and selfishness in one. It would be more suitable to say that it didn't morphed, some people just choose not to see it and pretended that all the excuses are correct.

My reasoning became your excuses, your excuses are bullshit to me.

The worst is that you not only hurt the people whom had loved you unconditionally, you have also hurt everyone else who loved them. I always said that i wouldnt think that you are 'kelian', your just simply 'kebei'. do you even bother to find out the difference? i guess not. you do not deserve all the sympathy others gave you. YOUR THE REASON WHY YOUR IN SUCH A SORRY STATE.

guess you will always stay the way you are, blaming everyone else but yourself for all the failures n mishap you experienced. so stop shedding your crocodile tears infront of me. i promised myself to remain unmoved no matter what happens, i gave up on you. everything that i owe you had been returned. for all the disappointments, torment, pain and tears that you caused, it was all the installments for what i owed you.

just stop saying that you love me the most, how come you are always hurting me then?

thats the end, life goes on.