sometimes i wonder when i can really grow up. it seems to me that the kiddish level inside of me is on the rise. at times i can be really cranky and babble all sorts of nonsense. really dont understand myself at times, i just do things when i feel like it as i feel like it. the sense of responsibility is lacking within me, especially towards him. i always let my emotions control my temper and hurl out things that hurt him. situation was worse in the past, im trying my best to change.


they say im really lucky to have him.

yeah i know. the intensity of emotions showered on me is beyond words and im grateful for everything that is bestow on me .guess its true about people getting greedy once something was given to them. should have think instead of feel when i make decision or to cast an impression/ perspective.


but right now, im numb to certain things.

its repeating over and over again, kinda like the recurrance series. so sick of it, im tired. it doesnt make me angry anymore, i simply give up and refuse to acknowledge anything. fragility should be the word. torn, broken and shattered. its beyond my control and powers, i simply ignore the existence and walk away.


let you be what you want. i wont get angry, theres no reason to. just let me go when i open the door, i will never turn and look at you the same way i used to.


you are no longer the same. dont try to pick up the pieces because nothing helps.
just dont even come near me.
i dont hate you, i just dont love you the way i used to.


people that i love, i really love you guys.


tired.