you know i need you and your here.
i found peace in you that all these chaos can never invade.
standing by me.
always felt that you will have problems being there for me.
you proved me wrong.
your all i need to be happy right now. your pressence made all the tears inside of me dry up..
my baby and me. =)
29.10.07
24.10.07
Its been a long time since i last thought of , death.
dont know why but the thought hit me now and i see a huge change in my own mentality. its finally far far away from me, the thought had never crossed my mind for a long time.
perhaps my darkest period of life is irony what was supposed to be fun and happiness. self multilation was evident, thought that it was there to prove that im alive. had the thinking that i have the need to feel the pain to at least know i exist in this world.
the scars can still be faintly seen but one thing is for certain, the pain is no longer there. im a much happier person compared to who i was in the past.
maybe it was stupid, childish and whatever negative terms anyone can think about. maybe, maybe, maybe..... but that was who i am in the past and i cannot deny that even if at this point i wished i didnt do all that then. that me in the past thought that it was worth it for that feeling that can be attained, let it be. at least i did not live with any regrets due to my actions then.
well, thats all the THEN part.
im living a happy life right now. everything good happens to me and im grateful for it. =)
i love the way each of us laugh at our own stupid actions, the things we said,time we spend together and the way we embrace each other's weakness and try our best to help one another. with no doubt, they are rooted deeply inside of me =)
the pair of hands that chooses to hold onto mine... staying so close to me no matter what happens.
sometimes the owner would look at me with a shocking expression at the things that ive done. perhaps it was some unexpected childish things that i should have not even do it. yet he embraces my childish behaviour. after that shocking expression, he would smile and say 'huai dan arh ni'.
sometimes i will throw temper at the owner and hurt his feelings deeply. it was obvious to me yet i choose stay in my own little anger world. no matter what wrong i did to him, he would give in all the time.
sometimes the things i do caused the owner to be angry. most of the time he was angry because he felt that im hurting myself with the things i did. he doesnt understand and got angry me. all that was needed is me holding his hands and say 'bu yao shen qi le lah'
all the anger in owner seems to disappear into thin air.
everyday i would laugh at the owner about something. throwing unpleasant names at him and making everything seems to be a joke. he never got angry and laughed along with me.
when i cry, the owner will get worried and blame himself for every tear that was dropped. he knows i need him with me, he would be there.
its just him.
dont know why but the thought hit me now and i see a huge change in my own mentality. its finally far far away from me, the thought had never crossed my mind for a long time.
perhaps my darkest period of life is irony what was supposed to be fun and happiness. self multilation was evident, thought that it was there to prove that im alive. had the thinking that i have the need to feel the pain to at least know i exist in this world.
the scars can still be faintly seen but one thing is for certain, the pain is no longer there. im a much happier person compared to who i was in the past.
maybe it was stupid, childish and whatever negative terms anyone can think about. maybe, maybe, maybe..... but that was who i am in the past and i cannot deny that even if at this point i wished i didnt do all that then. that me in the past thought that it was worth it for that feeling that can be attained, let it be. at least i did not live with any regrets due to my actions then.
well, thats all the THEN part.
im living a happy life right now. everything good happens to me and im grateful for it. =)
they are the reason why i smile. =)
my sisters are a major part of my life and i adore them to the core. heh.
i love the way each of us laugh at our own stupid actions, the things we said,time we spend together and the way we embrace each other's weakness and try our best to help one another. with no doubt, they are rooted deeply inside of me =)
the pair of hands that chooses to hold onto mine... staying so close to me no matter what happens.
sometimes the owner would look at me with a shocking expression at the things that ive done. perhaps it was some unexpected childish things that i should have not even do it. yet he embraces my childish behaviour. after that shocking expression, he would smile and say 'huai dan arh ni'.
sometimes i will throw temper at the owner and hurt his feelings deeply. it was obvious to me yet i choose stay in my own little anger world. no matter what wrong i did to him, he would give in all the time.
sometimes the things i do caused the owner to be angry. most of the time he was angry because he felt that im hurting myself with the things i did. he doesnt understand and got angry me. all that was needed is me holding his hands and say 'bu yao shen qi le lah'
all the anger in owner seems to disappear into thin air.
everyday i would laugh at the owner about something. throwing unpleasant names at him and making everything seems to be a joke. he never got angry and laughed along with me.
when i cry, the owner will get worried and blame himself for every tear that was dropped. he knows i need him with me, he would be there.
its just him.
22.10.07
Its the 2nd month today =) did not realise it only until a few hours back, kept thinking that its tomorrow. before that , i was arguing with dearest about the actual date for our 2nd month. -.- remembered that something similar happened last month. haiyo, dearest dont confuse yourself leh? haha.
anyway we celebrated our 2nd mth in advance as both of us are busy today. so i got my pressie from dear early! heh.
Bear and flowers. =) sorry that i dont really have time to get dearest anything, so he ended up with nothing this time. promised that i owe him a present first, i am in process of getting his gift le. hehehehhehe.
i was really surprise that dearest bought this for me, it has never cross my mind he would even get me something like this. i love it =) thank you dearest!
he forced me to carry the bear in my hand while we shop in plaza sing. at first i held it like an idiot walking around.
then dearest told me this
'i want you to hold it so that others can see you xin fu'
to say the truth, i was really touched. sometimes the way dearest think and do thing really caught me offguard. couldnt understand why dearest die die want me to hold this big bear and carry around , understood what was his intention at that point.
im happy and i will be happy whether people sees it anot. =)
thank you my dearest.
picture taken secretly when he was holding the bear for me. heh.
dear looking at the bear with love! hehex.
went to bugis to have our dinner after that. he was really thoughtful. we took 2 buses instead of walking to the place because i kept complaining that my foot hurts. lalalala.~
thanks for everything.
heartx.
anyway we celebrated our 2nd mth in advance as both of us are busy today. so i got my pressie from dear early! heh.
Bear and flowers. =) sorry that i dont really have time to get dearest anything, so he ended up with nothing this time. promised that i owe him a present first, i am in process of getting his gift le. hehehehhehe.
i was really surprise that dearest bought this for me, it has never cross my mind he would even get me something like this. i love it =) thank you dearest!
he forced me to carry the bear in my hand while we shop in plaza sing. at first i held it like an idiot walking around.
then dearest told me this
'i want you to hold it so that others can see you xin fu'
to say the truth, i was really touched. sometimes the way dearest think and do thing really caught me offguard. couldnt understand why dearest die die want me to hold this big bear and carry around , understood what was his intention at that point.
im happy and i will be happy whether people sees it anot. =)
thank you my dearest.
picture taken secretly when he was holding the bear for me. heh.
dear looking at the bear with love! hehex.
after that, we went to the ben and jerry at GREAT WORLD CITY.
GREAT WORLD CITY EH? familiar anot huh ? when i heard of that name, it really stuck me hard. i know that somewhere in my memories told me that i have been to that place before but now when i think about it..............
really couldnt remember much eh?
anyway back to ben and jerry.
we had...... choc mint, fish dunno wad choc and black raspberry dunno what. dear is a sucker for the raspberry flavoured icecream and he kept going for it. =)
to be honest, it was damn nice! heh.
went to bugis to have our dinner after that. he was really thoughtful. we took 2 buses instead of walking to the place because i kept complaining that my foot hurts. lalalala.~
thanks for everything.
heartx.
19.10.07
Its 2.46am and im still online.
just finish doing things for my project work and now im waiting for michael to compile everything. seems like im waiting for the verdict for my wrong doings, in this case it is the verdict if we have exceeded the word limit of 3k words.
hopefully we dont, if not ..........................
have to stay longer loh?
blog some other time when im free
tadah~
just finish doing things for my project work and now im waiting for michael to compile everything. seems like im waiting for the verdict for my wrong doings, in this case it is the verdict if we have exceeded the word limit of 3k words.
hopefully we dont, if not ..........................
have to stay longer loh?
blog some other time when im free
tadah~
12.10.07
Hai, i get to see you only once a week. Told my friends that the only happy day of the week is friday because that is the only day i get to see you.
Many said im crazy to go so crazy because of you. just because you are simple doesnt mean you are insignificant. with you around, the others look like crap and i dont understand why the hell they wanna torture us like this. =c
got to know i have new competition mates last week, im not the only one who runs and chiong to see you. justin and friends from chinese class is also doing the same. for that friday, they chiong and said ' im gonna overtake sweix'
yeah, indeed they did, little did they know nothing can tear us apart...
your still mine eventually...
i was elated when i saw you on thursday. almost went crazy and started running around like some idiot. hengling thought that i was some moron who always flash that stupid smile when i see you... really cant help it but to love and thank for your pressence...
THANKS,
Katsu chicken.
YES, disappointment eh? but im a true slut for this lah. bobians. my school's food is like crap from monday to thursday, im only tasting heaven every friday. wahahaha
that was what i had yesterday. thought that i could be happy two times in a week, it turns out that THEY DID NOT EVEN OPEN THE STALL TODAY. =c the reason why they sell it yesterday is because THEY KNOW THEY WONT BE SELLING IT TODAY!! haix!!
yesterday was a damn lazy day. had a lecture session on oral presentation, really couldnt believe what the hell im seeing. the speaker/trainer is obviously a really lousy speaker. mind you, her eye contact is only made to the first four rows of people, she never looks up and look at the others at the back. i estimate that the centre stage can at least accomdate 20rows of students. yet, she is stuck at the first four rows. been seeing her for last 2months, what she can deliver is expected.
i gave up and slept throughout the lecture session.
seems like im not the only one. wahaha
seriously the school should fix the air-con or something. i saw people perspiring in a air-con room lah, ironic huh? it was not like one or two drops of perspire leh. it looked as if he was dehydrating in a high rate. lots of people were fanning like crazy in the venue.
been addicted to this game..
dearest intro me to this game. i simply love it
you should try it too!!
hehx
Many said im crazy to go so crazy because of you. just because you are simple doesnt mean you are insignificant. with you around, the others look like crap and i dont understand why the hell they wanna torture us like this. =c
got to know i have new competition mates last week, im not the only one who runs and chiong to see you. justin and friends from chinese class is also doing the same. for that friday, they chiong and said ' im gonna overtake sweix'
yeah, indeed they did, little did they know nothing can tear us apart...
your still mine eventually...
i was elated when i saw you on thursday. almost went crazy and started running around like some idiot. hengling thought that i was some moron who always flash that stupid smile when i see you... really cant help it but to love and thank for your pressence...
THANKS,
Katsu chicken.
YES, disappointment eh? but im a true slut for this lah. bobians. my school's food is like crap from monday to thursday, im only tasting heaven every friday. wahahaha
that was what i had yesterday. thought that i could be happy two times in a week, it turns out that THEY DID NOT EVEN OPEN THE STALL TODAY. =c the reason why they sell it yesterday is because THEY KNOW THEY WONT BE SELLING IT TODAY!! haix!!
yesterday was a damn lazy day. had a lecture session on oral presentation, really couldnt believe what the hell im seeing. the speaker/trainer is obviously a really lousy speaker. mind you, her eye contact is only made to the first four rows of people, she never looks up and look at the others at the back. i estimate that the centre stage can at least accomdate 20rows of students. yet, she is stuck at the first four rows. been seeing her for last 2months, what she can deliver is expected.
i gave up and slept throughout the lecture session.
seems like im not the only one. wahaha
seriously the school should fix the air-con or something. i saw people perspiring in a air-con room lah, ironic huh? it was not like one or two drops of perspire leh. it looked as if he was dehydrating in a high rate. lots of people were fanning like crazy in the venue.
been addicted to this game..
dearest intro me to this game. i simply love it
you should try it too!!
hehx
10.10.07
WEE~ im back again. heh.
results for promos sucks to the core but still, i managed to be promoted. got so much things on my mind right now that i cant really think properly. just want to have a day off just for myself and sleep like a dead person. i cant, i dont have the time. A levels is coming soon, cant believe it and dont really know if i can handle it this time.
heard that mdm sham's dad passed away, hope that she is fine and stuff. she is such a nice lady~
Went back hospital for my checkup. everything still remains and there is not much changes. i guess the doctor felt that there is nothing they can do about me since there is no cure for this. im trying. let things work out right the next 3months.
After the appointment, went to ikea with sisters. huizhen did not come along, she was busy sleeping away ( i guess?) .
Had chicken baloda? for lunch. eh, wait.? was it chicken or fish?
i cant remember, now i can only recall that the thing was damn spicy that i kept telling sisters that i want to eat the icecream =)
after icecream session, we went around ikea and take a look.
siao kias
this wall clock is damn nice lah!
i have to admit that im being a damn cheapo when i bought the 2.80bucks clock from ikea last time. after that, i saw a 2.80bucks clock in giant. i was infuriated and kept nagging non-stop because of this incident. its only 30cents difference and the design is like heaven and earth difference. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Judy got so tired that she took a short nap. wahaha, im just kidding. she is only posing for me.
NICE BED!!!!! damn chio sia the bed sheet. =)
This egg-like thing was meant for children to sit in. guess what cecilia did?
TADAH!
Met up with dearest after shopping session. quarrelled about 3-4 times in that short 4hours that we met. guess my temper is starting to affect my relationship with people.
he is shy.... haha
50days.
results for promos sucks to the core but still, i managed to be promoted. got so much things on my mind right now that i cant really think properly. just want to have a day off just for myself and sleep like a dead person. i cant, i dont have the time. A levels is coming soon, cant believe it and dont really know if i can handle it this time.
heard that mdm sham's dad passed away, hope that she is fine and stuff. she is such a nice lady~
Went back hospital for my checkup. everything still remains and there is not much changes. i guess the doctor felt that there is nothing they can do about me since there is no cure for this. im trying. let things work out right the next 3months.
After the appointment, went to ikea with sisters. huizhen did not come along, she was busy sleeping away ( i guess?) .
Had chicken baloda? for lunch. eh, wait.? was it chicken or fish?
i cant remember, now i can only recall that the thing was damn spicy that i kept telling sisters that i want to eat the icecream =)
after icecream session, we went around ikea and take a look.
siao kias
this wall clock is damn nice lah!
i have to admit that im being a damn cheapo when i bought the 2.80bucks clock from ikea last time. after that, i saw a 2.80bucks clock in giant. i was infuriated and kept nagging non-stop because of this incident. its only 30cents difference and the design is like heaven and earth difference. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Judy got so tired that she took a short nap. wahaha, im just kidding. she is only posing for me.
NICE BED!!!!! damn chio sia the bed sheet. =)
This egg-like thing was meant for children to sit in. guess what cecilia did?
TADAH!
Met up with dearest after shopping session. quarrelled about 3-4 times in that short 4hours that we met. guess my temper is starting to affect my relationship with people.
he is shy.... haha
50days.
7.10.07
Hate chunks and chunks of words that you dont bother to read? then this would be the entry for you! heh. i hardly load so many pictures at one go, theres also videos in this entry. ENJOY!
There have been TWO baby interactions recently. im damn elated because they are so freaking cute!!!
First was the child of YEC president.
Okay, hengling said that the picture of the baby looks damn weird right here. Looked like this stranded and lonely kid. The baby had a perfectly cute expression before taking the picture. however when i press to take the picture, the flash shone on his face. guess it kinda blinded him and *tadah* the end result was him closing his eyes due to the discomfort. =) hehx.
This girl complained non-stop and said that the baby was irritating. when we sat behind the baby, she asked to carry the baby.
IN THE END SHE WAS THE ONE WHO CARRIED THE BABY THE LONGEST AND KEPT SAYING THAT HE LOOKED VERY CUTE IN THE HOOTiE!!
contradicting eh judy?
he is damn cute and damn light lah. hahah =)
Then, it was Jia Yu. =) dearest's nephew worx.
Obviously the flash from the camera did not blind him in any way.
He was happy to see his own face on my camera that he kept laughing nonstop.
Before this, i was using my phone to take pictures of us. So when he took my phone, he tried to mimic my actions as he wanted to take pictures of himself. LOL. in the end, he ended up kissing the back of my phone. he kept doing the action over and over again. it got all of us pondering what he was trying to do at first, then we come to realisation when dearest asked jiayu if he wanted to take picture. CUTE RITE!
Went to k-box with darling shiying, weikoon and my new friend, mr jboi. heh. the package came with a lunch set.
The portion was damn big and it looked delicious from the first sight. still remember that the last time i went, the thing was kinda petite. i was kinda shock when i saw the lunch provided for us lah!
( video removed )
weikoon duet with girl? boy? girl? boy?
THE TRUTH.....
....
..
.
Ya, it was jboi. BOY.
I was late so i told them to go in and register. when i opened the door, i saw him holding onto the mic but i thought i heard a girl's voice singing. at first i thought that he was just holding onto the mic and pretending to be singing with the female singer in the MV.
Went to sit next to weikoon and asked
'is he the one singing??'
the answer that came to me was YES.
wah, his vocals is like 100times cuter compared to me and darling lah. we are disgraceful to be girls. hahaha
LALALALALAH. ZILIAN WORX!
Dearest hurt my finger when we were playing last week. i almost poked his eye with my thumb by accident. guess i used alot of strength, the normal reasoning should be that he suffered some tear on skin or something.
BUT NO, MY THUMB ENDED UP BLEEDING.
freaking pain. he kept apologising for what he had did to me. lol. the next few days i couldnt use my thumb to do anything due to the pain. even buttoning and opening my medicine became a mission impossible task, needed alot of help to do many many things.
The first time i sat on the car that he drove. kind of put my life in his hands and he was damn nervous driving me around. thank god im still in one piece right now. HEH.
There have been TWO baby interactions recently. im damn elated because they are so freaking cute!!!
First was the child of YEC president.
Okay, hengling said that the picture of the baby looks damn weird right here. Looked like this stranded and lonely kid. The baby had a perfectly cute expression before taking the picture. however when i press to take the picture, the flash shone on his face. guess it kinda blinded him and *tadah* the end result was him closing his eyes due to the discomfort. =) hehx.
This girl complained non-stop and said that the baby was irritating. when we sat behind the baby, she asked to carry the baby.
IN THE END SHE WAS THE ONE WHO CARRIED THE BABY THE LONGEST AND KEPT SAYING THAT HE LOOKED VERY CUTE IN THE HOOTiE!!
contradicting eh judy?
he is damn cute and damn light lah. hahah =)
Then, it was Jia Yu. =) dearest's nephew worx.
Obviously the flash from the camera did not blind him in any way.
He was happy to see his own face on my camera that he kept laughing nonstop.
Before this, i was using my phone to take pictures of us. So when he took my phone, he tried to mimic my actions as he wanted to take pictures of himself. LOL. in the end, he ended up kissing the back of my phone. he kept doing the action over and over again. it got all of us pondering what he was trying to do at first, then we come to realisation when dearest asked jiayu if he wanted to take picture. CUTE RITE!
Went to k-box with darling shiying, weikoon and my new friend, mr jboi. heh. the package came with a lunch set.
The portion was damn big and it looked delicious from the first sight. still remember that the last time i went, the thing was kinda petite. i was kinda shock when i saw the lunch provided for us lah!
( video removed )
weikoon duet with girl? boy? girl? boy?
THE TRUTH.....
....
..
.
Ya, it was jboi. BOY.
I was late so i told them to go in and register. when i opened the door, i saw him holding onto the mic but i thought i heard a girl's voice singing. at first i thought that he was just holding onto the mic and pretending to be singing with the female singer in the MV.
Went to sit next to weikoon and asked
'is he the one singing??'
the answer that came to me was YES.
wah, his vocals is like 100times cuter compared to me and darling lah. we are disgraceful to be girls. hahaha
LALALALALAH. ZILIAN WORX!
Dearest hurt my finger when we were playing last week. i almost poked his eye with my thumb by accident. guess i used alot of strength, the normal reasoning should be that he suffered some tear on skin or something.
BUT NO, MY THUMB ENDED UP BLEEDING.
it was really painful =c
freaking pain. he kept apologising for what he had did to me. lol. the next few days i couldnt use my thumb to do anything due to the pain. even buttoning and opening my medicine became a mission impossible task, needed alot of help to do many many things.
The first time i sat on the car that he drove. kind of put my life in his hands and he was damn nervous driving me around. thank god im still in one piece right now. HEH.
Sleeping beauty.
While he was sleeping, i went through his whole computer with the intention of deleting a file that i sent him. LOL, end up seeing SoOoOoOoOOoOoOOoOoOoOooOooOOo many 'hahahaha' files inside. you know what lah. haiyo, somebody naughty worx. hahahaha.
HOR SOMEBODY?
Its 12plus. im turning in.
good nite
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